Shadow Work

Coming Out Again and Again

Posted on Feb 11, 2013

Just as popular celebrities like Jodie Foster and Anderson Cooper have stated publicly in the past year, I came out years ago to friends and family. It was pretty much a non-event. But as I reach an age where that date was 20 years ago I have to ask myself as a soul-searching man with some amount of integrity and authenticity; Do I need to come out as a gay man instead of just a man? In principle, I am against the idea of identifying as gay. It is an identity that is a social construction, one that was not created from gay people but by others as a way to separate what was judged in many ways as inferior to one who is sexually attracted to the opposite sex, gets married...

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Gay Shadow and the Price of Isolation

Posted on Apr 5, 2012

“Not Waiting to Say Goodbye” by Jacob Bernstein was personally moving to me and many of my friends who read The New York Times and who knew Bob Bergeron. Handfuls of separate threads on Facebook were devoted to grief and anger about it. I believe the scope of the article left out some pivotal legacy pieces that are important to the gay community, pieces that are part of our history but often kept in shadow. Since Dancer from the Dance was published, the gay community has had to deal with the AIDS epidemic. Forty-somethings like me and my peers lost many potential mentors in our lives We were  left with less history to learn about ourselves as we grew...

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Men’s Work: Synthesizing the Yin and the Yang

Posted on Feb 15, 2012

Robert Bly writes in A Little Book on the Human Shadow “So a decision taken privately, as part of one’s inner life, to fight the dark side of oneself…can cause ‘the conscious’ and ‘the unconscious’ to take up adversary positions; and the adversary positions can quickly spread to foreign policy, and influence decisions.” How many times a day do we come to a moment in our lives where we feel conflicted about a choice put in front of us? Or, let’s say we’ve made a choice and when action is taken it seems to have the opposite of our desired effect, maybe a diminished one. As  we walk the path of our lives and...

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A post about shadow work

Posted on Jan 27, 2012

The waters of the unconscious can get rough, so use a good vessel

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