Making The Bed

Posted by on Apr 8, 2014 in Alchemy

road1It’s morning and I am making the bed. It’s my last morning in this bed, so first there’s the stripping, then the making of the bed. In a while, I’ll launder the old linens, they’ll dry, ready to be folded and put away.

 

Rituals like these bring me a certain peace on mornings like this. Mornings when I am aware that my entire known universe will be different by this time tomorrow. My actions are in the now but I am also present to a want not to feel fear, not to feel sadness. I am sad to leave but I do not know why.

 

It is after all, my choice to leave. The call was made, striking my body like lightning from head to toe and through to the ground. The time is now. Walk The Camino. Trust. Have faith. Just go. No looking back. The ecstasy of this experience brought me to tears that can only point to ecstasy. Union with the divine. There was no sadness or joy in those tears. Only knowing. So, I chose to walk.

 

Almost immediately, the synchronic events began revealing themselves to me in blessing. Friends of friends got in touch with me to share stories, advice about how they walked. Others sent me emails to share deeper reflections. For example, did I know how important it was to those with mobility issues that I make this walk? No, I hadn’t thought of that before. But one friend called and told me she needed a foot operation. She takes long walks every day and would need time to heal and not perform her ritual. Would I walk for her? Yes.

 

Words from a wise friend included, “It’s all energy, isn’t it?” This thought remains with me. How am I learning the lesson to disconnect from the physical manifestations and embrace the energetic lasting ones? “The physical is so transitional…” she wrote me. Yes. I see that now. I am making comfortable a bed that I will never sleep in again. Soon, I will walk 500 miles over the period of a month to practice this lesson.

 

For now, if I walk away from the bed and remember the energy of it, the feeling of it, then I will never loose the comfort it gave me. And if I succeed with this, I may find that I will never loose the love you share with me with a hug, a kiss, a smile or a look.

 

So what of the physical? Is it only a temporal symbol for the everlasting? Then what can be made of the transitions that inevitably must occur? What makes them necessary if the deeper reality never changes? I don’t have the answer to these questions. Maybe that is why I am walking and carrying physical objects for people who have asked me to hold them, then let them go. My mind drifts to the image of energy that seeks expression. It must have a physical form to do this. The expression is but a facet, hence the need for transition. The physical is merely an alchemical vessel for the expression of energetic connections that purify and refine themselves. I don’t know if this statement is true but it brings me comfort. Like making the bed.

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